I'll climb inside your brain

Honestly I dont have any idea whose mind I would wanna be in. But I got to thinking and I would want to be in Albert Einstein's brain. Comprehend the things that he did, see things the way he did. Learn just how he did. Maybe it would actually help me to figure out how to learn things. Because wasnt he like not smart and then one day he kinda became a genius? I wanna do that. figure out what he did and learn things. Maybe come up with new ways of doing things and invent my own stuff thats all smart. wouldnt that be crazy? I wanna have that IQ. maybe not even that.. I just want to know how he did it. What he did and how he got around this crazy world and just became soo smart. That would be incredible. to be inside the mind of a genious thats known throughout our world.

dont rain on myyyyy paraaaade

PARADE IN MY HONOR? IM HONORED! but seriously, my parade will be in Times Square. Hope up the place a bit my face everywhere. And guess who is gonna be there? MILEY CYRUS. thats who. she  is my guest of my honor. She'll be my entertainment. She'll have her own float right behind mine with a stage and a microphone. She is the most amazing woman. I love her. Ahh. Anyways, all the floats will have my face plastered on it. Embracing my beautiful. There will be a float for each of my favorite foods. free samples for everyone. And then there will be a Starbucks float. (Behind the Gloria jeans float of course). The first food float will be pizza. All different kinds of pizza. Although, papa johns gets their own float. ♥ I'd also have  cancer awareness floats. One float for every type of cancer out there. I would have brain cancer first in line just because its my parade and my goal is to represent me, but also make awareness to others. Thats pretty much my parade :) I do hope youll come watch

my wish for you

if i was actually given 3 wishes to use on other people, I wouldn't use them to make someones life miserable. i would use them for the benefit of their life. But at the same time, I don't want to wish something upon someone and then it endup being a total disaster and something they didn't even want. So, I'd start with wish number 1 being for a friend.

1.) Now, you aren't really my friend. Not even close to being my friend at all. You are the complete opposite of what I call friend. You are probably the worst person alive to me, but you also played a big part of my life somehow, unfortunately, so here's to you. My wish is that you can wake up one day and realize all the mistakes you've made. Look at yourself and realize what a horrible person you are and remember all the lives you've partially ruined or attempted to ruin. part of me wishes I could see you again one day and show you who I am now and how I turned out.

2.)  this wish is for my sister Rebecca. I would wish she makes it into the college of her dreams  that is just right for her. She's been working so hard for it and I would I would just love to see her happy and where she wants to be. I love her so much.

3.)  My daddy. I wish that he could figure things out in his complicated life. I want him to be happy and be at a good place in his life for once. Get back on his feet and really start living again like he hasnt been for so many years now.

wheeeeres the chapsticks?

Under the school, I found this weird trap door. Im a crazy person so I went inside all by myself. Thi is what I found. ALL THE MISSING CHAPSTICKS. Ive always wondering where in the world all of the missing chapsticks have went to. Well, I just discovered. The crazy thing is there was pile for each persons chapsticks. I just want to say.. I had no idea that I had really lost that many chapsticks throughout my life.. there was a pile of over 3000 for me. Thankfully, Cody Gray had 5000. :) which made me feel better about myself and the lost chapsticks. so just to clarify for everyone, the missing chapsticks have been found thanks to me. no, the chapstick is not in the kitchen ;) you can all thank me now!!! :) if you ever lose a chapstick, you now know where to look.

2014.

I hate to be the sappy person that talks about how they've had a horrible year and makes everyone just sad and dreading over reading the blog, but I can't exactly get around doing that without being truthful. So, here's the truth. This year was has taught me that there is such a thing as heartbreak. I've always kind of been a nonbeliever in the term "heart broken," but I slowly figured out that it's all a choice. So I chose to let my heart break. Which I'm still not exactly sure how that's possible, but I guess it is. My heart broke this year. It completely shattered into a billion and 7 pieces. That kind of sucked. It still does. Theoretically, once something breaks, the only solution is to fix it or throw it away and get a new one. I can't get a new heart, so the option I have left is to fix it. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, though. Sometimes when something breaks, you don't have to fix it completely, just a little bit could get you by. That's what I'm trying to do with my heart. I don't think I'll ever be able to fix it completely. There's some things you just can't fix. I'm excited for this year to be over, but really, nothing changes when a year starts over. There's just different dates on a calendar and stuff. Things that happened in 2014 won't go away, disappear, or be forgotten in 2015. I'm also kind of scared for next year. Every new year something horrible seems to happen to me and my family. I will be happy and say that it hasn't been all bad. I've grown so much closer to my family this year. We all have grown closer to one another, and though the circumstances aren't great, it's really nice finally having family there for me whenever I need them. I used to feel so alone all the time, but not so much anymore because I know without a doubt that my family is there for me. I've also finally found a great place to stay with great people that really care about me. & not that relationships are the most important thing, and you don't need one to be happy, but there is this boy that somehow never fails to put the biggest smile on my face. He treats me the way I deserve to be treated and makes me so happy. He's amazing in every way and he is a big part of my happiness right now. I am so thankful for him and all the other good things that have happened this year.

snow should def be illegal

Alright, well. 3 words, 3 syllables, 1 feeling. I HATE snow. Simple as that. I absolutely hate it. It can be pretty but in order to be pretty, it has to cause mass destruction first. which I HATE. So, saying this, I would not build something in the snow. Nor have I ever built a snowman. Not because I chose not to, but because I don't know how. I have thought about it before and considered wanting to build a snowman, but again, I do not know how. A few people have wanted to teach me, but it never happens. BUT, last winter I was in Washington and built really cool and really big snow forts on a trampoline and it was probably the coolest thing I had ever made in the snow before. Technically, it wasn't completely in the snow because I was on a trampoline. I still hate snow, but that, I will admit, was pretty cool. Don't regret it one bit. Although, I was extremely cold and got snow all over me. Which I did not like at all.

this has gotta be the good liiife

I love this blog. I'd really like to share my week with you, Hudson. SO, here it goes. Starting off with Monday! I woke up late and came to school looking not very nice. My day was going alright, but i looked horrible! Next, I had a huge buttload of make up work for being sick the previous week, so i was working on my make up work after school and LOW AND BEHOLD, I go out into the kitchen to get food to munch on while doing my makeup work and THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN. Of course, I started screaming. So that was horrible. I hate mice. Anyways. that was last week so now I'm going to talk about this week because i dont remember last week anymore. This week has been really exhausting and confusing. People are making me like extra mad lately and I just want to cry all the time. My sleeping has been really off this week, like I just haven't been sleeping. It's actually been like that for a while and it really sucks because sleeping is nice and amazing... but i never do anymore. That might be why im so frustrated with people. The play is also this weekend and we've been having loads of long hour practices. Also, I've been confused because I'm struggling with that stupid word love.. but that's nothing new. ANYways, that's my week for you. Exhaustion, frustration, and confusion. BUT! Ive still been having a really good week! Like besides all that stuff, it's been a pretty good week I guess! I hope you had a great week, too, Husdon!

who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS

if i turned into a ghost all of a sudden, i would use it to my best advantage. I'd scare people I don't like, mess with people who need a good scare, and go to every place i've ever wanted to go because i'm a ghost and i can do that now. like..for free. i'd also go looking for other ghosts and get to know them and make friends. i wouldn't want to be one of those lonely ghosts that wanders around one spot their whole eternity of ghost life. people don't like those. they always end up on ghost shows because people don't want ghosts lingering around. and they try convincing the ghost to let go of everything and move on.. well, i don't really want that to happen to me. so, i'm going to gather up ghost friends and that way I won't be the lonely ghost.

its a hideous book, really.

I have a favorite book. Its not the best book in the world or the most popular. In fact, most people give me a really weird look when I say the title. And think im extremely strange for liking a book with such a title. its crazy because before this year, the title was just a title. But now, its a meaning. A purpose and a reason. The book is called "One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies." Im sure you understand now why the title has changed in outlook for me. anyways, the girl is a young adult whose mom dies and her dad pretty much a jerk who left her all alone. I can only imagine that her high school life really sucked. The book spends time going over some of her high school times so we kind of already know, but besides that point, Id like to have my own idea for her. I think she wanted to do more than the one drama club she chose to do. She was a loner and probably put in the yearbook as most likely to die alone with cats. You know? Even though her dad was famous, people didnt credit her for that. Which im sure is what she actually wanted. I believe it was hard forher to be more active with the school because of the pain she carried. So she did do some stuff in school, but mainly let pain take over who she would be.

olly olly oxen freeeeee

Waldo had never been apart of my life. I didnt know this guy growing up and didnt even know he existed. OOOPS. But now that i know the full story (kind of) I know that no one knows where waldo really is? Im going to gladly share with you where he is and has been all these years (in my opinion). Hes never been missing. Crazy, huh? Well its true. Waldo never went anywhere. Everytime you wonder where he is, bam hes right there. Every time you think about waldo.. BAM. Right there. Google waldo, and well.. BAM! Hes right there. I see waldo as this figure of our imaginations. Think of it, and bam youve found it. Stop with ghe constant overthinking it about where waldo is. Its more simple than that. Hes there everytime you want him to be. He was never lost or missing, he just went away when he wasnt being searched for. SEEEEE?? It makes so much sense and youre all mind blown. Waldo has been with you this whole time.. youre welcome.

home doesnt just mean home

I'll be honest, for a couple years now, I've had no clue what home even means. In my lifetime, ive lived in/stayed in over 30 houses (including trailers, apartments, etc.) It's hard to really be sure what home is when you're in a situation like I'm in. If you look in a dictionary, there are several different definitions and usages for the word "home." It only makes sense that one such as me would then become confused. Which home is mine of all these "homes"? I spent quite some time trying to figure it out for myself and determine what and where I call home. Unfortunately, I failed to come up with an answer. I found this definition, which also happens to be the first one you read in almost any dictionary online or in a book.

home hōm/ noun
1.
the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.

That is, of course, until they movie out and get a home of their own. Which then the word "home" becomes there own.

I do feel that this definition is logical and very correct, but it doesn't stand for all people. Especially not for me. I hear the saying "Home is where the heart is" a lot, and I guess that makes sense. But what if you don't know where your heart is? And don't necessarily know how to find out where it is? So, that's when I look to the other multiple definitions of the word home. Like I said, I couldn't find one that worked. But I did find one that I like a lot better than any of the others. It can stand for so much more and mean greater things than "where one lives permanently." Which was this:

home: a place where something flourishes, is most typically found, or from which it originates.

That definition instantly made me feel like I had finally found a way to call a place home and mean it. Its easy to just go ahead and say home. But whats your meaning behind the word when you say "home?" Mine is honesty still a hard one for me, but I'd just have to say the residence in which im staying right now is my home (wheren I am flourishing and most typically found).

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids"

I think that I would probably love half my teachers in high school because I've heard a lot of stories about their awesome times while they were in school and I really feel like I could just connect to their legitness. I feel like Hudson would be that girl that was quiet to those who didn't know her but then you get to know her and you're around and BAM. Instant chaos. You were a good student, but you were a b.a. when you had to be. ;) Alexander on the other hand, she was just rainbows and butterflies all around. Hudson was the black angel of death. Nauman was that girl you probably didn't want to mess with. She comes off as that girl that could just be that total SNOB that you just don't want to cross. But I mean, if you get on her good side, you two are tight. But she still knows how to put the hammer down.. Over all, I would really love to have spent time in high school with my pretty legit teachers.

grandparents house is the best house

My survival plan is take a truck from a dealership first off. Take it to my house and put all my food in it. Literally all the food. Take all my pictures, blankets, clothes and utensils. Then drive the truck to my grandparents house in Pekin. On the way, I'll pick up my sister Rebecca. Then we'll unpack all of the belongings in the truck into my grandparents house. Put the house on lock down and then, trust me on this one, we'll survive on lock down for the next like 5 years. My grandparents house is loaded with preparation for any kind of apocalypse coming our way. They have like 100 of everything and 300 of other things. It's crazy. We'll be good for Hannah because she already lives there. Stephenie isn't a kid anymore, she has a family of her own so she can fend for themselves. Katie is the same way. I love them but they're on their own. So after getting to my grandparents I'm going to hijack a jet and go get my brother and Jessie from Iowa. Then bring them back to my grandparents and we'll all live there til the end.  

story of my liiiife

Okay well first off, holy poop.. If I found a book with the tittle being my name, I would be trippin out for like a week. Literally. Of course I would pick it up, but I really don't think I would read what hasn't happened yet. Because then I have the ability to change what happens in my life.. like I know whats going to happen tomorrow because I read it, so I could change it if i wanted. Which I DONT want to do. I would reread past chapters just as reminders of things I don't have a great memory of. I would read about times I spent with my mom as a little girl and times we went out together just me and her. I would probably read about the times I made stupid decisions and laugh a little bit at myself. I'd read the chapters where I was happy and having a great time to remind myself that I can be happy and I've had a good life. It's not all bad. That's probably all I would read. I think the one thing that I would love to read about is my parents when i was about to be born. Which would be the first chapter. I was almost born in the steak n shake drive thru, and I'd really love to read about the experience it was for my mom and dad.

misunderstoooood

Alright, the first thing I think that adults just don't get, is a teenagers want/need to sleep. Just to lay in bed all day without getting dressed or getting up at all. Just lay down all day. They just don't get it. No, I'm not crazy, I'm not anti-social, and I don't need your input on what I need to do about my problem. It's not a problem, I just simply want to be lazy and lay in bed. all day. Next thing is food. I hate so many foods. But I love other certain foods.. I mean, I love food. But there are some foods that I just can't. That doesn't mean I'm picky or don't eat anything but pizza. It just means my taste buds are different from yours. I can't control my taste buds and I'm not about to try to control them. I think the last thing is pain. Emotional pain. They don't understand our way sometimes of dealing with pain. They think that we need to deal with it their way. No, I am going to deal my pain how I please. You will probably just make it worse if you try to force me into dealing with my pain a different way.

& so it begins

So far, the school year has been absolutely crazy. The first day was alright but I didn't stick around so really my first day was Friday. I got more make up work than I think ever before. I have been trying to catch up this whole second week.. and catching up in high school isn't easy. i really have been stressing because I have so much emotionally going on but then  I have to deal with the stress of school on top of it. Don't get me wrong, the school year has been great so far and I love my classes, but I have been overloaded by the amount of work it is. I guess i just wasn't prepared to be dealing with this much right when school starts. But lucky for me, I'm getting the hang of it and I have the greatest friends, sister, and family that have my back through it all.